My singing lessons last year made me want to send you this:
I’ve recently finished painting our bathroom door (below). The outliner tubes and pots of glass paint are available at www.pebeo.com or, if you’re local, from Smith’s Garden Centre on the Pool Road out of Otley.
I get glasses cheap from charity shops and paint them using the same paints. Rather like me they look their best in the dark.
A bit late for a Christmas joke but here goes: There’s this woman trailing her husband around Christmas shopping when she looks round and he’s disappeared. She rings his mobile: Where are you, love?/ Well, you remember how five years ago you fell in love with that diamond necklace in a shop window and I promised to buy it for you one day?/ I do remember, love./ Well … I’m in the pub next door to the shop.